Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Time to Carve off the Rats

My rats as of 12 April 2010
It's time to carve the rats off my face.  The beard was meant to make my life easier so I wouldn't have to shave so much.  I originally grew it to avoid work and hassle from an uptight boss at the Costco Hellsale.  Now, years later it's totally out of control and requires constant grooming and care.  It gets tangled, caught in zippers, immersed in my soup and generally annoys me.  The beard is no longer awesome.  It sucks.  I'm ready to find the rats and flush out the flock of starlings that have made my facial hair home for the last four months.
I need some help deciding on a new look though.  Check out Jon Dyers awesome facial hair types chart over at his blog and vote for your favorite in the comments.  I'll try to carve out the top two or three before I run out of hair and post the results on the blog-o-beard.  I eagerly await your help and vote!  
Voting will close on Saturday morning at 12:59am GMT (that's midnight here) and sometime in the middle of your Friday night.  Get to it! 










































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10 comments:

  1. I think you should persevere and keep the beard going. Anyone can grow a beard as long as you have. But only those with the fortitude of ZZ Top can grow a beard that is truly remarkable.
    Don't give up!!!!

    But if you decide to shave it anyways, I like the "hulihee."

    P.S. Would you consider donating your shaved beard to me so that I can augment my pubic hair?

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  2. I vote for old dutch - I think your in-laws to be would as well (dutch, holland, anne right - I always get it wrong somehow).

    As for being anonymous, if you'd just respond to my anonymous comments with some fun banter you might apprecite my anonymity. If you deprive me of attention by only addressing me via the group in your comment instructions, that's not much fun.

    Besides, can't you still smell me from there?

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  3. Hulihee, then Franz Joseph. Good luck!

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  4. It's hard to address Anonymous personally. That's kind of the point of being non-anonymous. But I will duly note your vote of OLD DUTCH. It is also popular with Anne as she is from the hinter lands. Apparently there's an Old Dutch TV biologist Chriet Titulaer that sports the Old Dutch beard.

    I can probably do the Old Dutch and then swap down to the Hulihee shortly after.

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  5. I vote for whatever will make you look like your circa 1993 junior prom picture - so handsome.

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  6. The MOM votes for Federation Standard or, if you must have a beard, the Chin Curtain. I like you best the way you arrived, a bit more hairless! Love you!

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  7. I just can't do Jean Luke Picard. I need some hair on my face for this harsh Norwegian climate! Do you want me to die?! Our sunny weather is at an end and it's going to SNOW on friday. SNOW!

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  9. I'm breaking blog silence. Old Dutch is just too much for me to bear without comment.

    Of course, I've seen your Mutton Chops which, while hilarious, was also creepy as hell. So I'm not recommending that.

    I think you should profile a series of looks over a few weeks and then chronicle the reactions of the locals. You've already chosen to start with the Free For All Bird Nest, which your blogger hasn't even mentioned (bah!)

    Next you could move on to Extended Klingon (obviously it would have to be a little longer than recommended), followed by Old Dutch.

    A further intermediary position could be found in the Anchor.

    Whatever you choose I think you should end up with The Mighty El Insecto. Because otherwise, really, what's the point of sculpting at all?

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  10. Great minds think alike and I am just using that as a hopefully clever way to say the same thing as Sophie. Start with the Klingon and then move to the Old Dutch followed by the Chin Curtain, they look the same to me really. And even though I am against mustaches in any form can you try out the Super Mario at some point to see if it actually looks like a bird got its head stuck up your nose, or if that is just the artist rendering.

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